I Love Him
by ThePennameIsUnimportant
Summary: They've both been through so much, stretched until they're about to snap. Slightly OOC Tony. Sorry for the horrible poem.


**A/N: My attempt at being dramatic for once. Reviews are always awesome.**

**Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, as much as I wish they did.**

He took a look down from where he was standing, pressed up against the wall. The couple was still there, the girl, young lady he supposes that she would be called now, leaned against the boy's arm, as he smiled down at her with a goofy girl upon his handsome face. They looked so in love, so comfortable and confident that they would last forever, it almost broke his heart knowing that it wasn't true. Love doesn't last, and it's only going to leave both sides broken. He had learned that the hard way, so many years ago.

He took a deep breath, and coughed as the air seared into his lungs, burning. His eyes watered as he pressed his head against the cold metal wall. His eyes red, wanting to cry but not having any tears left, he slammed his head back, hard.

He laughed bitterly and slowly closed his eyes. No amount of hurt could ever come close to competing with the amount of pain love caused him.

Love. It's made out to be such a wonderful thing, but really, it's just as evil as everything else in the world.

Tony. Sweet, innocent, giving, beautiful Tony. Once you met him, you couldn't help but fall in love with his charm and child-like enthusiasm as he babbled nonsense into your ear wildly flinging his arms around.

He'd fallen immediately in love with the man, and once he fell into love, he couldn't seem to get out, no matter how much he dug and clawed and fought. Instead, he seemed to sink deeper and deeper, losing himself as he fought to stay away.

"I'm no good for him," he whispered to himself as he stood on the window ledge of the building, just barely keeping his balance, as he stared down into the bottle he held gingerly in his hand. "I would hurt him."

He wanted to both laugh and scream at the same time when he thought about how unfair it was. Tony hurt him so much unintentionally every night as he dragged another young, beautiful girl back from the bar, drunk and laughing loudly. Tony hurt him so much every morning when he kissed the girls on the cheek, leaving them swooning as he led them out the door. Everyday as he watched them over breakfast he thought, 'this is it. Tony finally found the one. Maybe I can stop now.' But every night, Tony came home with a different girl.

He hated himself. He really did. No matter how many girls he brought home, no matter how many times he met a nice girl that he could see himself have a future with, he pushed them away when he saw Tony, hanging on to that sliver of hope that maybe, someday; Tony would realize that he was utterly and uncontrollably in love with him.

Until one day he stopped hoping. And now he here he is, standing 90 stories off the ground on a window ledge, fighting to breathe as he paced back and forth. Contemplating, debating. He slid down against the wall, and dangled both legs over the edge. He took another gulp from the bottle, feeling the liquid slide down his throat, warming him slightly.

"I love him," he whispered to himself hoarsely.

He closed his eyes again, and listened to the wind howling around him, blowing his hair back. In the back of his mind, he heard a creak of a door opening, and shouting all around him.

But by then, he was gone.

Pepper entered the room cautiously, carrying a cup of tea and a few crackers. He hadn't eaten in days, just sat there, staring at that piece of paper, almost unreadable as it was soaked in tears. It didn't matter though; she knew he memorized every word. She stroked his back lightly as a tear fell slowly from his eye.

"Thank you," he said, voice hallow.

"Try to eat some this time," she reprimanded gently.

He smiled without emotion, and she sighed as she left, missing the man that she used to know.

His eyes scanned over the first lines of the poem again, as he sank back down into his chair. His eyes stung from crying too much, as he squinted to see through the tear stained paper.

_His eyes, so beautiful, are a work of art_

_Piece by piece, they take me apart_

_Then slowly, slowly I'm pieced back together_

_When he smiles, all I want, is to promise forever_

_All that I want is his heart_

_But he doesn't know,_

_He'll never know._

_If I told him, away he would go._

_And I don't want to lose him_

_So although I am filled with pain to the brim_

_I'll take it gladly_

_If it means he's happy_

_And bright, he'll surely glow_

_Love is a lie_

_And it will surely die_

_So I'll go with it_

_Because a coward, I admit_

_Is what I truly am_

_Tony, I love you, damn_

_I think it's time to say goodbye._

Tony sobbed as he finished the poem again, slamming his already bloodied fist into the table next to him.

Pepper walked into the room again in the morning, and found Tony lying on the bed, face finally peaceful.

Scribbled messily on a paper next to him was, "I love him."


End file.
